Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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