dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
