it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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