he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
