I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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