she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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