how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
