good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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