I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
