Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize