Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
