Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
