Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
