He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
