Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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