I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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