I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
