I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
