So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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