I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
