Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
