I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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