The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
