I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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