How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
