Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
