The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
