Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
