I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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