Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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