i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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