The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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