Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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