but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
