He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
