**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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