Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize