I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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