Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
