Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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