Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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