Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
