Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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