O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
