He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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