i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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