I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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