Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
