Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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