at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
