Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
