i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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