actually, I'm a sock model
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
