omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
