Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
