Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

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  (818): I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/hyhy
  Replies (9) Good night (844) Bad night (2426)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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  (515): brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people http://tfl.nu/wdd8
  Replies (43) Good night (997) Bad night (4789)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays

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  (615): I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays http://tfl.nu/4zqy
  Replies (17) Good night (4433) Bad night (665)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

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  (303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g
  Replies (36) Good night (6945) Bad night (1149)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her

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  (540): It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her http://tfl.nu/aiow
  Replies (36) Good night (1740) Bad night (4398)
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  (650): View more from California

  Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?

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  (650): Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user? http://tfl.nu/ik2g
  Replies (15) Good night (1357) Bad night (2582)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.

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  (402): Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job. http://tfl.nu/cd1b
  Replies (15) Good night (2603) Bad night (1156)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.

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  (715): Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way. http://tfl.nu/o1v6
  Replies (3) Good night (2588) Bad night (1511)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night

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  (908): this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night http://tfl.nu/eq6t
  Replies (2) Good night (921) Bad night (1358)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.

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  (701): Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual. http://tfl.nu/sj3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1897) Bad night (1433)
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  (626): View more from California

  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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  (626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06
  Replies (22) Good night (4587) Bad night (1235)
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  (916): View more from California

  I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.

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  (916): I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/r9ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.

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  (508): Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem. http://tfl.nu/hw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (435)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?

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  (901): So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back? http://tfl.nu/odpa
  Replies (8) Good night (660) Bad night (1187)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.

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  (717): Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much. http://tfl.nu/y3yp
  Replies (3) Good night (880) Bad night (403)

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