Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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  (512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself. (519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey. http://tfl.nu/1rre
  Replies (158) Good night (1537) Bad night (942)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.

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  (302): i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace. (1-302): you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING. http://tfl.nu/vhdb
  Replies (47) Good night (705) Bad night (2321)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

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  (405): Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one. http://tfl.nu/zdto
  Replies (45) Good night (5200) Bad night (515)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4170) Bad night (526)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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  (520): Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents. http://tfl.nu/dtw6
  Replies (5) Good night (4302) Bad night (1190)
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  (631): View more from New York

  just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.

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  (631): just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high. http://tfl.nu/w9mm
  Replies (28) Good night (6135) Bad night (811)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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  (812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo
  Replies (15) Good night (7343) Bad night (901)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...

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  (+61): She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was... http://tfl.nu/7mx1
  Replies (50) Good night (11241) Bad night (2502)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS

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  (508): so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS http://tfl.nu/purw
  Replies (11) Good night (1344) Bad night (3261)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.

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  (865): all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink. http://tfl.nu/yxat
  Replies (8) Good night (3290) Bad night (1036)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.

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  (+44): it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it. http://tfl.nu/off0
  Replies (14) Good night (3468) Bad night (977)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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  (301): I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked. http://tfl.nu/v26w
  Replies (13) Good night (3356) Bad night (929)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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  (203): I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed. http://tfl.nu/lxpv
  Replies (10) Good night (746) Bad night (390)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.

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  (971): I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day. http://tfl.nu/yn9t
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (207)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship

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  (860): so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship http://tfl.nu/7dsx
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (167)

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