So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I need to calm my uterus...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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