U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
