I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize