Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
