some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
