Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You are a genius and a whore.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
